Posted by: Andy | December 10, 2004

Fat people and cheese

You know, according to this site you would think that the overweight and butter go together like, well like fatness & butter. However, I was confronted with a distressing reality yesterday morning on the bus.

There was a gentleman seated across from me with a rather interesting build – his entire body was not fat, but his entire body from, say, where his abs would have been and down was fat, and above that was normal. Rather strange to look at – but anyway. So he had ridden the bus at least an hour to buy a book “Frugal Gambling” (so we know he was using his head) and to pick up some nachos & nacho cheese dip from the 99 cents store (so we know it was quality). This is all fine and good, the disturbing thing being the frequency with which he would sneak the cup of nacho dip out of his stylin’ 99 cent store bag and dip a meaty finger (not fat, just meaty) full on in the cheese, then draw it slowly out and suck it off like he was paid to. In and out, in and out of the mouth till ALL that cheese was gone and the finger was all glisteny shiny. Oh, I almost forgot to tell you lovely listeners that he had a nice, white (ish…) Santa Claus style beard & ‘stache. So you can imagine where some of that orally fixated cheese decided to chill.

Anyway, he did this for about half and hour until my stop mercifully arrived.

So heads up for all of you glandularly-curious out there – melted plastic cheese is the new butter!

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