Posted by: Andy | May 14, 2005

What the fuck is up with Rivers Cuomo?

So I picked up the new Weezer album today – people are shitting themselves over it and let me tell you, it’s not that good. The new SF59 album it is not.

Not to say that it is bad, Weezer hasn’t really put out a “bad” album yet, and there are a few good tracks on it, but it does have the dubious honor of being the first Weezer album to have a song that I just thought was retarded (title: We Are All on Drugs). He can still write good hooks, great melodies, etc., but the lyrics he is plastering over the aforementioned songpieces are generic, trite, shyte. What made Weezer the whole package (the first two albums), for me at least, was that the songs were intensely personal & *specific*. You could tell they were actually about *something*. Now it is just whining about how he sucks or how he likes some girl. True, that is all the old stuff was too, but it was dressed up a lot better.

Food for thought, compare the following lyrics:

In the Garage:

I’ve got the Dungeon Master’s Guide.
I’ve got a 12-sided die.
I’ve got Kitty Pryde
And Nightcrawler too
Waiting there for me.

Yes I do, I do.

I’ve got posters on the wall,
My favorite rock group, KISS.
I’ve got Ace Frehley.
I’ve got Peter Criss
Waiting there for me.
Yes I do, I do

[chorus]

In the garage, I feel safe.
No one cares about my ways.
In the garage where I belong.
No one hears me sing this song.
In the garage.

I’ve got an electric guitar.
I play my stupid songs.
I write these stupid words

And I love every one
Waiting there for me.
Yes I do, I do.

[chorus]

In the garage. Neaarrah!

[chorus]

In the garage, I feel safe.

No one laughs about my ways.
In the garage where I belong.
No one hears me (x4)

No one hears me sing this song.

——————–
We Are All on Drugs:

When you’re out with your friends

In your new Mercedes-Benz
And you’re on drugs
And you show up late for school
‘Cause you think you’re really cool
When you’re on drugs
And you put on your headphones
And you step into the zone
When you’re on drugs
But the world don’t care

If you are not there
‘Cause you’re on drugs

GIVE IT TO ME

We are all on drugs yeah
Never getting enough (never get enough)
We are all on drugs yeah
Give me some of that stuff (WOO)

And you twitch in your seat
‘Cause you wanna hit the street
When you’re on drugs
And you cause such a fuss
‘Cause there’s no one you can trust
When you’re on drugs
And the best of your days
Will vanish into haze
When you’re on drugs

And you wish you can quit
‘Cause you’re really sick of it
But you’re on drugs

GIVE IT TO ME

We are all on drugs yeah
Never getting enough (never get enough)
We are all on drugs yeah
Give me some of that stuff (WOO)

I wanna confiscate your drugs
I don’t think I can get enough

We are all on drugs yeah
Never getting enough (never get enough)
We are all on drugs yeah
Give me some of that stuff (WOO)
——————–

Seriously, WTF? Congratulations Rivers, you have graduated from “indie” to “pop” with flying colors; your music now has exactly as much value as Good Charlotte’s. Again, I’m not saying the whole album is like this, but it is a resounding 90% or so.

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