Posted by: Andy | August 28, 2005

40lb vagina meet 80lb cock

Ok, you *may* have heard me use the term “40 lb vagina” in the past to describe a woman with an overabundance of fat in the vagina/pre-vaginal region, this is good and well and we are speaking on the same terms. It is not incredibly uncommon to see a few persons fitting this criteria in a given day, and in fact I’m fairly used to it. HOWEVER, today I witnessed, for the first time, something so massive that it cannot be covered by the term.

In starbucks in borders (in Janzen Beach if anyone cares), I witnessed the unthinkable. A woman with a croch pooch so unbelievably engorged that it SMACKED BETWEEN HER KNEES (yes, I said “knees”) LIKE A GIANT COCK (the kind you’d see in really dirty and tacky cartoons in, say, France).

I kid you not. I’m slightly ashamed of myself, but not really – that kind of thing doesn’t sneak up on you overnight – you wed yourself to a life of pooch fatness. Therefore, you have to deal with the unwanted aftereffects (such as myself staring, although rather discreetly). She walked at a constant tilt, leaned backwards, I’m guessing so her 80lb cock didn’t pull her over forwards and cause an even more embarrassing scene (if such a thing is possible).

Yes, I know I’m a horrible person. But I’m ok with that. Just stop eating/eat less/eat healthy for a few years. I mean, it’s not that hard, I’m a lazy fuck and I still manage not to be fat. (Yes, I know some people are genetically predisposed to be obese, but I’ll deal with this on a case by case level. Obese is one thing, but having the body mass of a pre-teen in between your legs is no way to live).

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