Posted by: Andy | April 10, 2007

What sucks about Wii boxing

First off, it’s not even a real “game” – it’s a technology demo, and a really mixed bag of one. It does a good job of showing that hey, moving during a video game can be fun, especially the more it corresponds to what you do. It was fun until I figured out how poor the gameplay was.

The problem is, it doesn’t exactly correspond. To guard your face, instead of lifting up – you tilt back (something you’d normally do as you lifted up – but the fact that it’s not a height thing causes some logical problems for me during game play), in stead of punching to the side or around to throw a hook, you lean the remote to the side (like a domino falling to the left or right). Or at least that’s what’s supposed to happen. In practice, I can’t get it to throw a hook on purpose pretty much at all, and that’s after 3 weeks of playing every night. Yes, I might just suck, but I’m not that bad. If all you are supposed to do is tilt it….and I sit there and tilt it on the practice courses and nothing happens…something is wrong.

Of course, maybe there is something wonky with my console – it wouldn’t even recognize one of the gestures (lift I think) for Marvel Ultimate Alliance (during the training portion). Meaning I can’t access 1/4 of the games moves. I’m hoping there’s an option to use an old fashioned controller, one of those retro ones you can buy, or I might not even be able to play the game right.

So yeah, boxing. More things that piss me off – right after you come out of a dodge, and try to throw a punch, 99% of the time it throws the wrong punch for me. WTF? Then tonight, when I’m punching exactly like I always do, every right I tried to throw was a hook, except for the odd 1/10 or so. So I pretty much just played with my left hand, except when I wanted to get knocked on my ass real fast. I’d rather have a straight punch than the wide-open-leaving-you hooks any day. Of course, the hooks will kick someone’s ass right quick, as the computer is quick to demonstrate on me whenever I fail to dodge even one of the 1500-1600 difficulty guys punches.

Oooo, another thing – the unreliability of knock outs. Almost always if you knock someone down 3 times in a round that is a KO – but not always. Usually if you take someone out with a non-stop barrage that’s a KO – but not always. Unless you’re the 1500-1600 guy (who I’ve made it past twice I think, only to die at the 1600+ guy), who WILL knock your ass out almost instantly, taking off 2x-3x normal life per hit, knock outs are unreliable things. I mean, that mirrors life I guess, but it’s just fucking annoying for a game where you are trying to learn play strategies.

Really annoying thing – the scoring is done entirely by how fast you knock them out. You can fight a killer tactical game, and take them out in the 2nd or 3rd, and get ZERO FUCKING points. What kind of game gives 0 points (actually, you can probably lose points from a win too, I think I have) for a win? This just smacks of stupidity and laziness. I’m not a real boxing fan – but is that how boxing is judged? Speed of ending the round? Nothing for finesse, skill or tactics?

The instruction PAGE (not book) is also sorely lacking. I had to go on the internet to figure out how to do hooks & uppercuts. I don’t think the page mentions that you can lean back either, although I haven’t learned to use that for anything.

So – there is the possibility of a very good boxing game on the Wii, and all this game does is make you want that game. Then again, it still might be outside the bounds of their movement tech – as cool as it is, maybe they should have waited until they can do real positioning (assuming they can’t, maybe they can and Wii Sports just does it poorly) to make a boxing game, or even put the system out.



  1. i have to comment about tennis. cause i don’t play boxing.

    same thing, with using tactics to win and not just perhaps, acing to win…don’t think about it, you’ll LOSE points…LOSE POINTS.

    i hate that.


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