Posted by: Andy | September 12, 2007

The world’s most refreshing….beer!?!?

Big billboard, on the way to work: “THE WORLD’S MOST REFRESHING BEER!” and it has some shitty beer pictured in some icy mountains or something.  Because when I think refreshing I think icy mountains.  And beer.  I totally think of beer when I’m thirsty/tired/etc. and need to be “refreshed.”

Because getting tired, stupid, fat, and dehydrated is exactly what refreshing means.  Ok, so ONE beer won’t get you tired and stupid, but it will contribute to that nice gut you’re working on, as well as dehydrating you.  If this is your idea of being refreshed…..

But hey give those ad copy writers credit, I’m using they were using “refreshing” in a metaphorical sense, referring to a renewing of your spirit of life or some bullshit.  Again, if we’re still talking one beer, the calories/carbs/whatever you pack on, and the dehydration you experience really shouldn’t be bringing about a spiritual renewing.  Now, if we’re talking about getting mad sloshed and making passes at every person that goes by, and eventually passing out in a gutter to be felt up and vomited on by homeless people, WELL, then I stand corrected.  That is refreshing.

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Responses

  1. ahahahahahahahaha. But dude, you’ve just totally explained the art of addiction. Continued use despite unfavorable/negative outcome/flat-out consequences. I’m fat and tired, I want a beer to make me “feel” better. Wait. Wait. I’m on to something here. Maybe the real problem is this need to “feel” good, regardless of the means or the required delusions. The importance of “feelings”. Which is basically the average person’s justification for every stupid thing they do.

  2. Ahh, feelings. They are filthy, we should just be done with them.

    PS – Piss tasting alcohol is totally the way I want to get drunk!

  3. At least one other person admits beer is urine!! Why is everyone so worried about totally obvious gov’t conspiracies when this one has been around forever and NO ONE SAYS ANYTHING!! It’s probably Hitler’s pee, too. That’d show us. Or Uncle Joe Stalin’s. And if you guys don’t stop bandwagon browbeating George W (and I say this only to the 18-25 yo osmosis-intellectuals who only hate him because of their demographic and their inflated sense of importance), Coors Light will soon be introducing a new flavor.


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