Posted by: Andy | April 12, 2008

stuff I don’t like #4: all the urchins near Pioneer Square


H. (P.?)


Those kids are annoying.

A few weeks ago I was walking somewhere to find some food on my lunchbreak, and one of them turns around and starts pissing. He’s standing on the sidewalk, right behind a hotdog or some other bullshit vendor. Right on the side of the fucking courthouse. Or whatever it is – the thing immediately east of the square. His friend notices me staring (from across the street) and starts yelling “Stop looking!”. (He’s yelling it in that really retarded way urchins do when they want attention. Like 1/4 sing-songy, 1/2 down syndrom, and 1/4 directed at everyone but who they are actually yelling at so they can get everyone attention but make it look like they didn’t want it). Why? So he can PISS on the fence IN PRIVACY? In one of the busiest sections of downtown Portland? Fucking idiots. I just kind of stared for a while then moved along. You’d think I would know better, but people’s stupidity and lack of decency still amazes me. Don’t get me wrong, I understand some of how their values got they way they did (one piece: having not worked for any kind of property/ownership/achievement, how can one know the value of such?), but that in no way excuses anything they do in the least.

The same day, another one of them had a begging sign that said something like “Since you’re in my bedroom, can I bum some change?” Or something to that effect. Wow. Yeah, the street is totally your bedroom.  I mean, ok yeah it is where you sleep, but…whatever, you get the picture.  Plus, what is the logical connection between being in someone’s bedroom and giving them money?  Are we talking about a whore so trashy that she (or he if it’s a man-whore) bring business home??

I mean, I can’t stand beggars in general, but the Portland Urchins are some of the most obnoxious. Maybe because some of them seem to have a dress code? I think I’ll call it: “dirty, dirty, metal punk goth”. Because they act so entitled to things like pissing on the streets?

I’ve heard others say we/Portland attract so many urchins from around the country because of the generous amount of free food/soup kitchen type things we have. I have no knowledge of this, because I’m just not that in to local politics. Whatever the reason…maybe we need cut back for a while. Or just conscript them into the military or some kind of labor force.



  1. This was 10+ years ago, but I remember walking by the square one day when a homeless teenager asked me for change. Just as I started contemplating whether to give him some, his cell phone rang. HIS CELL PHONE! Then he had the nerve to get pissed off at me when I looked at him in astonishment, shook my head and walked away. He and a couple of the other goons he was with heckled me all the way down the block. I was furious… I mean I didn’t even have a cell phone at the time… and I HAD A JOB!

  2. I hate hobos, especially mouthy ones. I usually tend to have a field day with them once they enrage me, but god damn they bug the hell out of me.

  3. Jeeze? Phones, in 1998? That’s crazy.
    Then again, maybe it’s like Santa Cruz where its the lazy children of the wealthy who take to the street…

    That or he just made enough begging to pay the bills I guess.

    Either way, boot to the head!


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