Fake tans. I can’t stand them.
There are lots of places to get fake tans in the Portland area. Because, you know, you won’t stand out at all in a city where THERE IS NO SUN 9+ months a year you have no sun. Here’s some random info about the history of sunless tanning (and the tanning fad in general).
Basically, lazy people who don’t actually work in the sun want to look like they do – ok, not exactly, BUT what the want is the natural result of being in the sun for long periods (historically the result of WORKING, but in the last 100 years those with time to spare (read: non-poor) have taken to languishing in the sun for whatever reason. But take the term “farmer tan” – a sort of condescending term, implying that one’s tan is similar to one actually gained from work – and thus uncool.
I don’t know if the previous paragraph makes sense, but the whole thing is funny/annoying to me.
But throw out everything and what you’re left with is that it is trendy to look dark (But not too dark! People with naturally dark/brown skin are scary! They will take your jobs and your women!). It is trendy and therefore people do it. People will take the path of least time (and often correspondingly most money). Even laying out in the sun all day actually takes time and *gasp* they don’t have that – time should be spent driving around in a hurry on a cell phone!
What really gets me is when people “tan” to like the nth degree and they look fucking orange. And they think this is hot. I mean, sure “hot” is subjective and all, but who the fuck thinks orange (and I’ve seen MUCH worse in real life, that’s just something that came up on the first google page) is hot? Well, them obviously I guess. And guys in general will fuck anything with a clear pathway to the funhole, orange or not. And Portland always has a decent amount of oranginas at any given point of the year. I mean, really, what are you supposed to think when you see them? “OH, they’ve obviously spent the last 4 months blasting their skin off on their yacht in the Caribbean!” I guess.
And it’s not like you could even CLAIM it is natural around here. At least lazy ass people in Cali who bakey bakey can try and be sly about it and pretend they were actually out in the sun (although of course they weren’t *gasp* working in it! That would be tacky! The work that is.). But here…no, no and NYET.
I guess it’s interesting that pale skin used to be the status symbol and now it’s flipped around. Oh, and don’t get me wrong, a tanned body can be HOT. But fake tan? You look nasty. But “Wait!” you say “I’m sure fake tans will eventually be indistinguishable from real tans!” Well, don’t you worry your pretty little orange head; I’m sure you’ll give me another reason to laugh at you.
Whatever, it’s annoying.