Posted by: Andy | July 19, 2008

blogging on the road

Soooo yeah, we’ve been in California for a few days, no thanks to United Airlines or Avis rentals.

Let’s start with United:

True, by United’s standards we were late (we arrived at the line 45mins before our flight, and you are supposed to be through the line at that point) – still, we’ve never had that problem with Southwest.  Hell, we’ve gotten there 20 mins before a flight before and still been good.  45 mins would be golden with them.  Interestingly, nothing in the confirmation email we got from Orbitz said anything about a time cut off but whatever, I’m sure this is “common knowledge” for air travel.

Anyway, so the lady tells us “You too late,  just go through line anyway it will be ok, the computer will tell you you are late just click continue” (she doesn’t speak the best English) so we think it is cool. NOT!  Clicking continue gets you on standby..which would have resulted on us waiting around in the San Francisco airport for like 11 hours (until a 9PM flight!..our original eta for Santa Barbara was 10 AM).  Keep in mind this is happening at 515am and we’ve been up since 3am…so we’re not incredibly conscious.  That’s their first suggestion…standby and wait in an airport for 11 hours.  WITH A BABY.  Oh, and we can’t get refunds because we bought our tickets through an online  thing too…so from now on I’ll just get tickets direct from the airline in case we need to bitch at someone.  Lesson learned.  So yeah, we’re frustrated and saying “The plane doesn’t leave for 40 minutes!?!? Can’t you just let us on?”  Well no, because the computer won’t let you in..awesome; I love how they removed the human element so there is no one truly “to blame” – “Oh sorry sir, the computer won’t let you do that.”  Right, I’m sure you’re sorry.

So then they tell us to get in another line…ok wait back up, first the lady talking to us leads us out away from the lines and then just takes off for a while.  Eventually she comes back and tells us to get in a line which LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE THE LINE WE JUST WENT THROUGH.  So we’re like what the fuck why do we have to wait in the same line again?  What no one has the brains to tell us though is that while this looks like the same goddam line, it’s actually a different one and while it goes to a window labeled EXACTLY the same thing as the window we just waited in line for, it is somehow magically different.  Which it was I guess, there was a person who actually talked to us there, and eventually got us on standby flight to San Francisco (2 hours later) and another standby flight to San Luis (arriving 2-3 hours later than we would have originally arrived in Santa Barbara).  Standby with a baby….fun….but luckily no one took the spots and we were all good.

While we were waiting I called Avis’ 800 # and had them move the car rental/pickup from Santa Barbara to SLO (so we could then drive to Santa Barbara only arriving 5 hours late!).  No problems right?  Of course not.  When we get there the guy has no information in his system for our reservation.  Double awesomesauce!  Handy for us they had an Impala available.  Because we really wanted to drive a boat with choppy breaks.  But whatever, we made it to SB, visited Eric for a while, then made it back and dropped it off the next day.  And all was good right?  WRONG!  Jackalass motherfuckers called me that night and were like “Sir you returned the car with less gas than you took it with so we’ll have to charge y-”

Me (these are my actual words): THE FUCK YOU WILL!  I filled that thing up right down the goddam street, filled it all the way up.

Avis tool:Well sir we uh won’t be charging you for this but it says that we pumped 15 gallons into that tank –

Me: THE FUCK YOU DID, we only used half the tank anyway
(I only had to put like 8 in, we only drove to SB and back).

Avis tool:I uhh, ok I’ll go check the car myself but we won’t charge you

Me: Fucking right you won’t charge me.
(I was realllllly tired of idiots by then).
They never called back.  We shall see what shows up on my credit card.

Yeah, so all that was fun.  Hope the return trip tomorrow is much less eventful.

After all the drama we went to my Uncle’s wedding, hung out with family, and visited my grandpa in the hospital and he got to meet his great-grandson for the first time.



  1. Well thats how the wheel of life turns.
    Good luck.


    Cape Town Tours and travel

  2. That’s how the wheel of life turns?
    I’m aghast at how few (sympathetic) comments are on here. THIS WAS AN EXTREMELY ANNOYING SITUATION PEOPLE. Now feel sorry for us.

  3. Looks like he just stopped in to advertise, hard to tell if it’s spam or not….the email link doesn’t work so it’s probably spam.

    I loved hanging out in the tiny airport on the way back for an extra hour with an antsy toddler…because no one thought to tell us the flight was delayed AND the stupid computers there were out of sync.

  4. Hey. I feel your pain. I’ve slept in an airport, gotten on the wee morning flight, been kicked off of it (while my luggage was kidnapped and returned home before I got there) and then had to fly hours away from my destination just to get the hell out of dodge. *nods, eyes closed* I feel your pain.

  5. i feel it too. I can’t say I’ve ever done it with a kid though, so for that added piece…I’m just sayin’ you’ve gotta be kiddin me people!


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