Posted by: Andy | January 24, 2009

movie review: Wanted

So we got this from netflix and watched it last night.

I wasn’t like, excited to see it or anything, but I did actually want to see it.

First off – in case you don’t know (which you probably do) – it’s based on a HORRIBLY mean spirited comic that would never make it to the silver screen.   The comic is just really vile, as far as theme, setting and intention goes.  Some people like that stuff though.  Not me particularly.

Anyway, so yeah.  Movie, “loosely” based off comic – that crazy bullshit with the weavers was NOT in the comics.  In the comics the plot was relatively simple: the bad guys/evil super villains won.  All super/bat/wonder-person types are dead, raped, tortured, incapacitated or all of the above.  Villains are the world shadow government and they can do whatever they want.  The plot is basically a new villain getting drafted into a turf war, that’s the basics.

So yeah, movie is nothing like that.  Some crazy made up shit about codes hidden in wool.  Seriously.

It’s basically a big frame up for a few neat action scenes and for Angelina pretending she’s sexy.  Which I don’t think she is…she’s too thin, and now her head looks really large, because of said thinness.  If you’re into that kind of thing it’s probably just easier to pick up a coatrack at a garage sale somewhere and go to town on it.

Oh, yeah, so the craziest thing about it, the thing that made me do a double-plot-take was that, ok so [SPOILER] he finds out the whole thing is a set up, and one guy is responsible for duping everyone else.  Remember this: one guy is responsible for the badness, no one else knows.  So he goes after that one guy by…killing everyone else. All kinds of innocents and/or people he has broken bread with.  I  guess it’s supposed to be a sign of how badass he is or something but it just rang really false and stupid.

The random ultra-violence in the scene where he is shooting through a guy’s head (as in, holding the body up, keeping his hand in its skull and firing out of it while using the body for a shield) was unneeded too.

Oh, and yes anyone can transfer money into your bank account, but transferring it back out without your involvement is a bit more difficult.  Especially when hacking wasn’t presented anywhere before this in the movie, or even mentioned afterwards.  Huh?

Anyway, there are all kinds of wacky plot wack-a-moles in here.  But you weren’t expecting high art when you decided to watch this were you?

TWO STARS (out of 5)

[EDIT:

I forgot, the “bending bullets” thing was DUMB DUMB DUMB.  The main guy & his dad were the only ones who could do it in the comic…they must have just thought it would make a good visual (which it did) and then WENT FUCKING APESHIT NUTS OVERBOARD with it.]

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Responses

  1. Hilarious. Dang, that reminds me: I wrote a review of Domino that should’ve been in my throw-back entry!


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