Posted by: Andy | February 18, 2009

people less attractive than Meryl Streep

are apparently getting extra work.

So Jen was watching Mama Mia last night, and I couldn’t help but notice that both Meryl’s characters friends…were shrewish hags.  OH OK, not horribly, but they were plain as shit.

mama_mia_02

I mean, really.  You’d be hard pressed to find more average looking women than those two.  And they can’t sing particularly well either – so what possible reason could there be for them to be in a Hollywood movie?  Remember, this is the Hollywood so obsessed with attraction that it drives even borderline insane mothers of 14 to get nasty shit injected into their lips (I kid! I’m not blaming HW for that – she’s obviously batshit crazy!).  The same Hollywood that has special casting agents for the rare occasions when they need “ugly” people (who really just look average to me – but remember: average for us is ugly for them!).  Anyway, you watch the movies, you know what I mean.

So what gives?

I was thinking maybe they were in the Broadway version or something, but that doesn’t look like it.

My theory:  Meryl is getting old.  She’s not exactly a looker anymore (was she ever?).  But she’s still a big name.  So she gets a few little lines inserted into her contract here: “Supporting actresses must not distract from Meryl” ie they must be less attractive  Except for the daughter – the movie just wouldn’t make sense with an ugly daughter.  Plus Hollywood isn’t so crazy that it would put an “unattractive” (by their terms) person in a leading role.  Thems box office poison in thar hills!

So yeah.

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Responses

  1. You’re hilarious.
    Was it just me or was there a lot of painful singing in that movie? And a bit too much ABBA?

  2. Yeah, I was expecting a lot more Information Society (HAMMER PANTS FTW!).

    And yes I thought the singing was really under par…Meryl & the men (I don’t remember the daughter) had very…unremarkable singing voices.

  3. im sorry but how can you say that about meryl how can you say she isnt pretty she might not be as pretty as some other celebritys but she has an elegent look about her which gives her her beuty

  4. @Sophie: This is all kind of tongue in cheek here…I’m talking from Hollywood’s standard of beauty, not the actual/functional/liveable one.

    Pop will eat itself.


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