Posted by: Andy | February 19, 2009

Republicans to voters: we’ll vote against the stimulus, because we’re d!icks, but we’ll still grab every dime we can get from it – also because we’re d!cks

Note1: I’m not supporting or opposing stimulus here, just making fun of politicians as usual.
Note2: Yes, I was going for longest title ever.
This should surprise no one.
Hell I’m just going to quote the whole thing:

Not a penny of the stimulus for the GOP districts

I suppose no one should be surprised that Washington is full of crass hypocrites, but if there were an Olympic event in hypocracy several Republican Congressional members would be vying for the gold.  Following the near complete GOP boycott on the economic stimulus bill, Republican congressional members are spending their President’s Day recess at home bragging about the programs they will be delivering to their districts.

Some reported examples:

–  From Rep. Blaine Luetkemeyer (R-MO):  “Within the stimulus package there is some Pell Grant money, which is a good thing. It helps students be able to pay for their education and that’s kind of a long term stimulus effect there. I mean obviously that’s not gonna provide a job in the next 120, 180 days, but the ability of someone to get an education is an economic development tool,” Luetkemeyer said at a local college. He was there, in another inside-outside Washington twist, to celebrate an earmark for a college building. (Link)

–  Rep. Don Young (R-AK) put out a press release saying that he “won a victory for the Alaska Native contracting program and other Alaska small business owners last night in H.R. 1, the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act.”  (Link)

–  “All along he has believed infrastructure spending, in particular, should provide a boost to the Inland Empire’s economy,” a spokesman to Rep. Jerry Lewis (R-CA) said. (Link)

–  “While we philosophically have different opinions, we’re obligated to make sure this money is spent properly,” said Rep. Ken Calvert (R-CA). “All of us in the Inland Empire will do what we can to direct as much money as we can.” (Link)

–  From Sen. Kit Bond (R-MO) press release:  Last week, Bond led a bipartisan group of Senators in introducing an amendment to help provide needy families affordable housing. Bond’s amendment provides $2 billion to fund low-income housing tax credit (LIHTC) projects that have been stalled by the financial credit crisis. As part of the Democrats’ spending bill now signed into law, the Senate unanimously accepted Bond’s provision. […]  This provision will have a real impact in Missouri, especially for low-income, working families in need of safe and affordable housing. … Bond’s amendment will save more than 700 housing units and create 3,000 new jobs in Missouri.  “This is the type of emergency stimulus spending we should be supporting — programs that will create jobs now and help families,” Bond said. (Link)

– Gov. Tim Pawlenty (R-MN), who complained that the “federal government is spending money they don’t have,” told Rachel Maddow he would nevertheless accept funds for Minnesota: “Our view is, if you buy the pizza, it’s OK if you have a slice.”  (Link)

– Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC), who also campaigned ardently against the bill, said he would nevertheless gladly accept its funds for his state. “You don’t want to be crazy here,” he said.  (Link)

– Rep. John Mica (R-FL) gushed over the bill, which he, too, voted against. “I applaud President Obama’s recognition that high-speed rail should be part of America’s future,” he said in a press release.  (Link)

– Rep. Don Young (R-AK) boasted that he “won a victory for…Alaska small business owners” in the recovery bill he refused to vote for.  (Link)

– Rep. Blaine Luetkemeyer (R-MO) boasted about the educational benefits of the recovery act, while Rep. Ken Calvert (R-CA) said his office “will do what we can to direct as much money as we can.” Neither voted for the bill. (Link)

–  Rep. Pete Hoekstra (R-MI) joins in, praising the stimulus’ “generous” incentives for home buyers on his Twitter feed:
“petehoekstra If you know of someone thinking of buying first home, now may be the time.Stimulus incentive is very generous!Up to 8k!Check it out.”  (Link)

–  BlueJersey notes adds Rep. Leonard Lance (R-NJ) to the growing list. After insisting last Friday that the recovery bill “would have exploded our national debt without providing meaningful job growth,” Lance toured construction sites in his district yesterday, touting funds that would come from the stimulus bill. “This is a classic example of a “shovel-ready’ project,” Lance said after the tour.  (Link)

It looks like these guys are now worried some positive results will come from the stimulus bill and they have some heavy liftting to reconstruct the history of their lack of involvement.  Who knows?  It may work and these guys will completely buffalo some of their constituents into believing the money destined for their districts comes from their representatives hard work and commitment.  For sure they won’t be reminding anyone they not only voted against the stimulus, but did everything in their power to kill the bill.  And following the vote, the House Republicans crowed about their unity in obstruction.  Even made a stupid video using an Aerosmith song.

But Democrats who did work hard on the stimulus bill should make sure that these GOP congress members are unsuccessful at tricking their districts voters, reminding them that the entire Republican party in Washington collaborated to kill the bill.  The folks who direct the money should insure that not a penny of the stimulus money flows to districts represented by the Republicans that worked so hard to obstruct the passage of the bill. Then the districts voters will understand the real value of their representation.

Not a penny.




Some useful info the original author left out (and that I left there in a comment):

Via some whitehouse site:, the bill is  “H.R. 1”.
Here is the House voting record:
“No Republicans in the House voted for the bill. At 10:48 p.m., the Senate passed the bill by a vote of 60-38, with all Democrats and Independents voting for the bill along with three Republicans.[4] The remaining thirty-eight Republican senators voted against the bill.”
I can’t find a full senate record, this is as close as I got:




  1. I’m allowed to pretend I read this, right? For the sake of seeming smart and Californian?! Because I have been reading the news so I figure…. I probably should have just pretended without telling you I was pretending. Shoot. SHUT IT DOWN.

  2. You can add Greg Walden, Oregon’s 2nd District congressman (and last statewide Republican) to that list. Mapes on his blog at the Oregonian reported that Walden is going to go after his district’s “unfair” share of it, even though he voted against it.

  3. @Bethany: You know, it doesn’t take that long to read stuff. Especially news – my brain tends to just garbage dump most of it anyway, leaving me with priceless nuggets!! Or not.

    @Chinuk: No surprises there! I wonder if the original post author will continue to update it as I suspect EVERY SINGLE REPUBLICAN will clamor for every cent they can get so they can continue to claim they were looking out for their constituents. It would be nice to see some stick to their claimed ideals, grow a pair, and refuse the money. Then see what their constituents do. Have fun explaining that! Extra amusingly – aren’t those tax breaks in there because of the Republicans?

  4. *blowing spit bubble*


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